For My Sisters …
October 15, 2015

Because sisters should stick together.

They shouldn’t stab each other in the back.

Fuck other each other’s husbands.

Slag each other off.

Judge each other.

Put each other down.

Women. We’re batshit crazy. But we are strong. If you can’t handle that? WTFU

Here then is a list of women who have kept me together. Been strong enough to tell me when I’m wrong. And true enough to stand by me even when I’m making the bad decisions. Been there with advice and care and not a judgemental eye.

My friends.

Dawn – Like I need to even tell you what you’ve done. I’ve turned up at your house with mascara running to my knees and you’ve fed me pizza carpet picnics. You’ve made me think. You’ve let me drink the contents of your awesome wine fridge. You’ve listened to my worries a thousand times over until most people would have walked away. At one point my whole house was furnished by ‘House of Bernard’ and you even let me rant and rave to your husband. I love you to pieces. I’m so proud of your new business. Knock it out of the park girlfriend.

Lucinda – Day after day you’ve had my back. You’ve played devils advocate. You’ve advised me. Listened to my heartbreak and then championed me when my heart has started to heal. All this whilst you’ve had your own heartaches to deal with. I’m proud to be your friend. Truly. You’re a strong woman. A thinker. Level headed. If I was on a sinking ship, I’d hope you were captain. We’d find a way to shore.

Natasha – I turned up in the woods with my mental dog. And you sat me at your dinner table and let me pour out all the boring crap I had to. I’ve given you very little in return. You even let me pamper Rally. Without you guys I would have spent so many nights alone. You are so strong. You just get on with an efficiency I can’t even comprehend. In an hour you can achieve more than I could in a week. Plus you’re hard as nails. Team chasing? No thanks. I’ll gladly watch you though!

Sue – If I could ever be half the mother you are, I’d feel I’d achieved perfection. You called me out on so much. But held my hand instead of saying “Told you so” and then when I stopped grizzling you said, “told you so” Sometimes I wonder if you made a mistake that day in Gosport. Remember? You said you’d either punch me in the face of we’d get on like a house on fire. Perhaps you should have punched me in the face. Cut 80% of the drama out of your life.

Melindi – Can’t imagine life without you in it. You are so fierce I am in awe of you. If I need straight talking, you’re the one. We all think that. I’ve yet to come across a human that doesn’t absolutely love you OR the Shipping Forecast. Show me a person who doesn’t like either of those two things? And I’ll show you a freak. Or a Labour supporter.

Rebecca – No one works as hard as you. You’ve always had an eye on me and known when I’m not quite right. And you’ve picked up the phone even when you have rare spare moments for yourself. Thank you. Keep doing exactly what you are doing. We’re all watching in wonder.

Nathalie – No one could inspire me to be strong in the way you have. Badass to the core. I fucking adore watching you achieve what most of us never could. Again. And again. I don’t know what the future is going to hold for you but I KNOW it’s going to be exciting and probably a little bit dangerous. I’d like to think you could start a business where you write shitty notes for people and stick them on ignorant, turd wranglers cars. Something like that. But I’m pretty sure you’re more likely to end up winning some kind of global award for badass attitude and fearless behaviour.

Alpha – You are so completely beautiful. Inside and out. You’ve accepted me into your world when I’ve been at my worst. And listened to my relentless, utter crap when I know you’d like to have popped my mute switch on. I’ve never come across anyone who can turn a shitty marquee into a beautiful, warm, gorgeous party space, plan a premiere in less than 4 weeks, run a pub, look after a home and two children ALL whilst baking the most ridiculously good cakes. You are too hard on yourself. You’re amazing. Truly. Matt is punching. I hope he knows this.

Niamh – You’re 19. You’re beautiful. You have a strength in you I wish I’d had. Perhaps if I had. I wouldn’t have got in half the messes I have. Don’t let anyone stop you being that fierce. Don’t let ANYONE take you for granted. Hurry up and do your beauty course so you can make me look pretty until I’m too old to care. Friday’s rule. Can’t wait for this one.

Vivenne – You make me believe I have what it takes to achieve my dreams. Funny. Brave. An inspiration to have in my life. I will do this. That’s a promise.

Bee – Who’d have thought two people who have never actually met could have such a connection. You told me to write. And I wrote. And now here we are. Thank you. Although I still hate you for being so damn gorgeous and that bikini body? It makes me sick with envy.

And finally. Lara.

What would I do without you? I’m not sure. You ground me. Not completely because clearly I’m always going to be about 3ft in the air. You know exactly what to say and when to say it. You’ve turned my sobs to laughter. Inspired me to work. To write. To achieve. You’re my best friend. My confident. You’re so completely beautiful and you don’t know it at all. Your talent astounds me. Your forgiveness of people leaves me with nothing but admiration. Your friendship will be ever lasting. And, you’re an idiot. Thank god you’re an idiot. Because if you weren’t I’m not sure we could be friends. I’ll never forgive you for Martin.

If I can ever offer you guys the same kind of trust and friendship you’ve offered me, I’d be honoured.

And I can never thank any of you enough.

Anything I achieve or have achieved, you have all been responsible for a part of that. Most of you wont even know. You do now.

And if I ever make it to where I want to be?

Know each and everyone of you has been an incredibly important part of getting me there.

You crazy. Gorgeous. Fabulous bunch of freaks.

Hold on to your girlfriends.  Because when you fall, they’ll pick you up, do your hair, fix your make up and then bitch slap you until you are strong again.


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