Sticks and Stones
October 10, 2016

Just a brief blog today.  But I really felt compelled to address something. (Warning … I use the word ‘words’ a lot)

The US Presidential Debate.  It’s driving me crazy.  Mainly because I really don’t have much faith in either Trump or Clinton.

I don’t need to explain to anyone why I’m not a ‘Trumpette’

Perhaps though I ought to explain why I am not a Clinton fan.

The thought of having a female president excites me.  A little like the thought of having a woman in F1.  The problem is, we haven’t found a woman in F1 who both wants to race in F1 and has the talent to.  This isn’t me saying women don’t have the talent to.  They do! Women can do anything.  But F1 is at the top of the pyramid so there are very few people who ever get that far, and with far fewer women in motorsport than men, it’s no wonder we haven’t got someone in that top peak yet.  Suzie Woolf managed to get there.  And I am not going to tear a woman down here, she’s a talented driver who is also doing fabulous things for women in motorsport.  However, her desire to be an F1 driver wasn’t enough.  She simply wasn’t fast enough to make the grade (We could talk all day about how had she been a man she would have had an easier time getting there and the sexism in the sport but, lets not.  Lets just say that had she been a man, with her racing history she probably wouldn’t have been racing in F1 either)

Now, looking at Hilary Clinton, I am so incredibly proud to have a woman storming the presidential race at the moment.  But, I actually have very little faith in her ability to do the job in hand.  I think she’s a little too weak, a little too old and sentimental.  I am not being ageist.  Truly. But what America, and the world, has ahead of it needs someone who is at the prime both mentally and physically.  It’s just a natural fact that as you get older you slow down an edge.  Which is natural.  She’s worked so damn hard all her life.  She is two years off of 70.  Compared to Obama who is 55.  55 and still looks absolutely exhausted by what he’s had to do.  And before anyone says anything, Trump is 70.  He’s also too old.  Sorry!

I say she’s too sentimental because she writes in her Twitter Bio … “Wife, Mum, Grandma” Again, good for her to be proud of the most important jobs on earth (Although if I am being picky I’d have rearranged the order there.  Mum, Wife, Grandma.  But whatever) I just don’t think the woman running America and essentially having influence over the rest of the world, should be promoting the image of a granny.  Grannies are sweet and kind and lovely.  I don’t want the President of the USA to be sweet and kind and lovely.

I do want them to be a woman.  Or a man.  Essentially, what I want out of a President comes down to three words.

Integrity.  Strength.  Compassion.

Not male or female.  I’m pretty sure most people would agree with me on that.

Taking those three words and looking at Donald Trump? Well I can’t see any hint of those.

The whole reason I wanted to write this blog was about his recent video.  You know the one.  Where he was with the ‘lads’ and horribly objectifying women.  To be fair you don’t even need to watch that video.  Quite openly in the media he has used Hilary’s looks as a taunt, describing her as ugly (She isn’t at all) and also talking about women with small breasts as being unattractive.

God knows why he actually feels he can judge others on their looks.  I don’t want to get into a mud slinging contest, but he’s not exactly Brad Pitt is he?

What concerned me more was his ‘excuse’ for saying what he said.

“It was just words.  Things that people say” followed by, what he assumes was a clever little U turn “If you look at Bill Clinton, far worse.  Mine were words and his were actions”

I’m not going to sit here and defend Bill Clinton.  He was a man who conducted a lot of affairs.  Including getting a blowie in the Oval Office by Monica Lewinsky.  Now.  I’ll admit.  If I was made president, there is a good chance I’d probably want a blowie in the Oval Office.  It’s just I’d probably get Andy to come and do it.  Given we are in a committed relationship.  I say probably because, yet again, I am talking about me having a willy.  I presume if I did I would still love Andy.  But he might not be so keen on me having a penis.  So it would probably be him, but it might not be.  I CERTAINLY WOULD ONLY BE LETTING MY WIFE GIVE ME A BLOWIE IF I WAS BILL CLINTON.  But in all fairness.  Lewinsky was consenting.  She was in a relationship with him.  Rightly or wrongly.  It’s as simple as that.

Trump hides behind that stupid childhood rhyme “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” and you know what? Sorry kids, but that rhyme is a lie.

It won’t surprise you to know, I have been punched a fair few times in my life.  I’ve also been in a marriage that stripped away my self esteem until I believed I was worthless. I can tell you as a matter of fact that not one punch or ‘strike’ or vile action has ever hurt me as much as the words used to deliberately degrade and embarrass me.

Being told I am ugly, useless, stupid.  Being called a slag, a bitch or a whore.  Being told to fuck off.  Being told I can’t, I shouldn’t or a simple no.  Those are the things that have shaped me.  Hurt me.  Left me crying at night.  Have I ever accepted having my bum slapped by some misogynistic old fart in a bar? Yes.  Is it right that he did it? Or I accepted it? No.  But it certainly hasn’t formed any insecurities I hold on to.  Those all came from words.

Andy is lovely.  He does more wonderful things for me than any man ever has before.  But you know what makes me the happiest? His words.  “I love you” “I miss you” “Good morning” Those words form and shape my day.  His words also have the power to break me to shape my day another way.  Words have impact.  More damaging than action.

I can promise you that the words of people, their manner towards me, being repeatedly looked at, judged and put down, has had far more impact on the woman I am today than any of the regrettable sexual encounters, punches or let downs.

It was the words.  The attitudes.  Those are the things that have pinned me down.

Those are the things that will pin our young girls down.

Words.

Words are so much more important than people give them credit for.  They have a much higher impact on people than you imagine.  The pen, mightier than the sword.  A strike from the tongue leaving a bigger scar than a strike from the lash.

My daughter comes home from school everyday having been called a slag or a bitch.  It breaks her a little bit every day.  It also desensitises her.  She’s called those things? So what does it matter if she is those things?  She’s spoken to as if she is worthless.  She feels worthless.

It makes me sick.

Bill Clinton might be a saxophone blowing, cheating love rat.

But Trump?

Trump is something far far worse.

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